Yesterday night,11pm,just made up my mind on something important to me,until now im still asking myself,is this really the ending that you want to have??i feel misreable..i didnt know why i did that decision,is it really because of failure,fear of rejection??to give up that way,will i regret when times passes and things happen to be unchangeable any more??is just that this thing happen to be something that you never ever bother of till you start to like it,and in-love of it~i seldom change this way and this is my 1st time ever to change my opinion to something under my requirement..just questioning myself since things already change,why am i still give up??im not sure,maybe what 'sis' say is just true,imma a loser...have been learning and training myself in camps about mindset,and now i give up??
Yesterday night is just 'F***ing misreable,cant really sleep...cant focus to study...samething to this morning~just remember that few hours ago i still giving myself plenty lots of hope,planning for the "Day",preparing stuff and videos that gonna show...and within few hours later,make up a decision where loser makes...things just change too fast...
But thanks to my piece of paper and pencil,at least i get to draw...well,at least when im drawing,all this stuff will be out of my mind for that very second..
A warhammer character~
~ROAR!!!~ork,*Maybe is fate that makes me know you,at the same time,its that thing thats making me give up..maybe im just being irresponsible towards my words...maybe im just not strong enough,im not going to forget what have i say before,just that this thing will not be true~still and forever..
God,even though i dont believe in you,but im suffering right now,if you really exist,can make me to have a short term memory lose to let me feel better??
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